"And that was how I found out."
#’DID WE FORGET TO TELL YOU WE HIRED YOU FOR ANOTHER MOVIE
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
|—||Oliver James (via hqlines)|
I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit
|—||Paul Washer (via worshipgifs)|
i’m not like other girls
i was born with glass bones and paper skin
every morning i break my legs, and every afternoon i break my arms
at night, i lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
|—||Confucius (via hqlines)|
Gryffindor: I’m a fucking hero.
Slytherin: I’m fucking badass.
Ravenclaw: I’m smart as fuck.
Hufflepuff: My dorm is near the kitchen.
It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind
OOH SOMEONE SAID IT
|—||What’s Christianity to you? (via worshipgifs)|
To love and lose, the next best.
|—||William Makepeace Thackeray (via hqlines)|